EPISODE 17: No Vacancies — How To Handle Obnoxious Houseguests
Ever had a bad house guest stay in at your place? You know the type — shows up unannounced, doesn’t clean up after themselves, doesn’t show any appreciation for your gracious hospitality. This week’s problem-seeker who submitted their problem to Ask Amy, not only has a bad houseguest, but the houseguest is a so-called friend, sort of. What’s a hospitable houseguest to do? Charlie has a few suggestions and two choice words for this unwanted houseguest.
I’ve had a dear friend for about 25 years — since we were toddlers.
We live in separate states with separate lives, and while we’re not incredibly close, we’ve managed to keep a friendship going.
I live in New York City and am lucky enough to have a spare bedroom in the apartment I share with my boyfriend.
My friend’s job allows him flight benefits, which he often uses to visit me for a few days once or twice a year. We usually have a great time hanging out and catching up.
Recently he invited himself and a new girlfriend to stay with us. I thought this was kind of rude but decided to overlook it. They stayed for four days, barely making time to see me at all, as he was showing her around the city.
We had one dinner together, which they did not offer to pay for, and drinks afterward, which they also did not offer to pay for.
They brought no host gift, didn’t clean up after themselves and left early in the morning to catch a flight home without saying goodbye. I waited a few weeks for a thank-you card or email but never received one.
I never expected these things when he was casually visiting, but I feel like this situation is much different.
Lifelong friendship aside, the amount of money we saved them from having to spend on a hotel room in NYC for four days seems enough to warrant a small gift or round of drinks, or even a thank-you note. Do I have the right to be upset? And if so, how do I handle the situation going forward?
Have advice or comments about this week’s problem? Leave your feedback and advice in the comments below, via email at ask[at]nobodyasked.com, or via voicemail below.
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